Let's See How Far We've Come

The other day, I had to look up the population of my hometown for a scholarship application.  The goal, I think, was to show the review board where we, the applicants, come from and how that has shaped us.  For those of you who don't know, I'm from a small town called Whitmore Lake, Michigan. The classification of this town is "rural" and I can't picture a better way to describe it.  The population is only 6,423 - only about 400 more people than the undergraduate population of American University.  The population is about 96% white.  This is the town where I was born and raised, and the place I developed my sense of self and others.  Yet, it's not where I ended up, nor is it where I want to return to live.  How did I become such a different person than those who stayed behind?  Did I belong there to begin with?  Did that small setting make me who I am today?

I moved from that small town to Washington, DC in the fall of 2010.  The population of DC is almost 100 times that of Whitmore Lake - 617,996 people.  I moved here for school at American University - a small private school that specializes in international relations.  I learned early on that I like to travel and am fascinated by different parts of the world.  Coming from such a small, self-focused atmosphere, I was afraid I wouldn't fit in and wouldn't understand as much as others who came from different places. My fears were confirmed in my first class, but my small town mind allowed me to understand certain concepts better than other students as well.  While I came to this elite school ashamed of where I came from, embarrassed that I wasn't as smart or as rich or as stylish as the other students.  Over my first year in DC, I turned my thinking completely around.  I learned how to be proud of the small town and homogenous atmosphere that turned me into the caring and interested person I am.  This revelation became even more important when, in my spring semester, I decided to study abroad in the fall.

For a detailed description of my study abroad experience, click here to read my blog all about it.  Living in Brussels, Belgium (population 1,119,088) became the defining four months that would shape my future goals and ambitions.  That experience opened so many doors for me by showing me the way Europe functions and the way the European Union plays a part in the world.  Living in a foreign country can make you feel big, important, powerful, or lucky; but it can also make you feel small.  Because I had already made an adjustment of my social norms from my childhood, it was easier for me than for the rest of my classmates to adjust to Belgian life.  At the end of the semester, I could really see myself living there and being European.  I know that whatever job I get now, once I graduate in May, I will be able to work in any environment in any place.  Yes, being from the small town of Whitmore Lake made me who I am.  Yes, I did belong there to grow up.  I learned to be independent, a free thinker, and open-minded to new places and ways of life.  Who would have known that a smart girl from a small Midwestern town could make such a good candidate for international work?  I certainly didn't, but I'm glad it happened this way.  Because that's me. And I would never change that.

The New Mass: Anti-Catholic Ideals?

Hey there everyone. As you all know, I studied abroad last semester and have been away from this blog because of that. I'm writing today about the new changes to the Catholic mass. After you read this, I would love your comments!

I have several issues with the new translation of the mass. The way we went about making the changes hurt the cause of being the universal church we claim to be. Let's start with the beginning. The priest says "the Lord be with you" as a form of greeting to the congregation. The logical thing to say when someone gives such a greeting is "you too" or, as it were, "and also with you." We once believed as Catholics that the priest was our advocate, and therefore one of us. Human. With the change to "and with your spirit," we place the priest on a different level. He is no longer our advocate, but a different spiritual being we cannot comprehend or relate with on a personal level.

The changes don't stop there. The Penitential Rite places Catholic guilt out in the open. "through my fault, my fault, my most grievous fault"?! We get it. We have found fault with the Lord. We don't need to repeat the fact that we sinned through our own fault a hundred times to feel bad for what we've done. Doing so makes it seem like we are hopeless for our own salvation. Christians supposedly believe in hope and salvation for all people equally through Jesus. This guilty rambling seems to say "salvation for the worthy but not for me, I'm too guilty." but even this isn't the biggest flaw in the new mass.

When I have talked to people about the new mass and mentioned my final argument as to why it's not Catholic, many people have not even noticed this change. When the priest lifts the cup and is telling the story of the Last Supper, he used to say "...this is the cup of my blood, ... It will be shed for you and for ALL so that sins will be forgiven." Now, the words are "...this is the chalice of my blood, ... It will be shed for you and for MANY for the forgiveness of sins." MANY?! What?! Not the Jesus I know. Not the Jesus I learned and taught about in Sunday school. Jesus didn't pick and choose who to die for and who to leave to rot in hell. He died so we wouldn't. I asked a priest about this, who shall remain nameless, and he said "well, this is implying that some people won't get in." Sorry, father. I don't believe in that. And neither should this church. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't change His mind on us from heaven this last year. "Catholic" means "universal." It's time we started acting like it.

Au Revoir!

I'm not really leaving, this short post is just to let y'all know that for the next four months I will be posting much more frequently on my study abroad blog about my daily life and experiences while studying abroad in Brussels, Belgium.  I will be leaving two weeks from today, and may write in this blog once or twice more before then, but your best bet to hear from me is to go to the other blog.  I'm also going to hopefully try to get it featured on The Study Abroad Blog (which, by the way, is a great place for tips for other students eventually going abroad)! Anyway, it's au revoir for now!

On The Ordination Weekend

The Priest ordination was this weekend.  Three dedicated men became humble servants of the Lord as priests in the Diocese of Lansing.  For those who have never been to an ordination, allow me to detail what happens.

The first thing that happens is the Bishop calls the name of each of the ordinands, to which he responds "present!"  This lets the community gathered hear that the men are physically, emotionally, and spiritually present for the important event.  The Bishop then asks the men to swear five promises before the people gathered  (who, by the way, fill the entire cathedral.  David had five rows reserved for his biological and St. Joe's family).  These promises are: to accept the duties of priesthood, to celebrate the Mysteries of Christ, to pray without ceasing, to preach the Word, and to consecrate their lives for the salvation of all.  After they promise these to the community, they are called one by one to the Bishop.  The ordinand places his hands in the Bishop's, and the Bishop asks him to swear obedience to him and his successors.  After this, like all good Catholic celebrations, we sing the Litany of the Saints while the ordinands lie prostrate before the altar.  

Next comes the Laying on of the Hands.  My worship aide reads: "The Bishop lays his hands on the candidates' heads in silence.  In this ancient gesture, he invokes the Holy Spirit and confers priesthood. Then, all the priests lay hands on the candidates."  ALL of the priests.  By the way, there are somewhere around 100 priests in attendance.  That is no exaggeration.  The process is long but surprisingly well coordinated, and inexplicably beautiful.  It is as if all of these men are passing their wisdom, blessing, and a piece of themselves to those their hands touch.  I cry, for the first time.

After all 90-something priests lay their hands, the Bishop says a prayer of Ordination over the men, thanking God for their willingness to serve in the Diocese of Lansing.  The newly ordained are vested with the stole and chasuble.  They are assisted by their fellow priests, in David's case Fr. Brendan and Fr. Charlie Irvin.  I cry again.  After this, the Bishop anoints their hands with the sacred Chrism.  These hands can now administer sacraments.  I smile from the choir loft and look at the Bishop Emeritus, who blessed my forehead with so much Chrism on my Confirmation that it dripped and immediately soaked into my left eye.  The families of the newly ordained bring up the gifts (there was no collection that I could see, so this went rather quickly).  I cry again watching the priests take the gifts from their parents to be placed on the altar.  The newly ordained receive their chalices and patens.  The Bishop offers the traditional Kiss of Peace to each newly ordained priest.  I cry again.  Mass proceeds from this point as usual.  At the reception afterwards, I receive my first blessing from Father David Rosenberg.

In short, the ordination mass was a beautiful profession of faith and love.  The ceremony can be described as a combination of a marriage and a graduation.  The priesthood is more than just a job: it's a lifestyle.  It begins that day and doesn't stop.

Fr. David's first mass was this morning.  The mass was called his "mass of Thanksgiving" to the church, and from the church to him.  Bishop Emeritus Carl Mengling was there, along with 10-15 priests and just as many deacons.  It was an incredible mass for many reasons.  First, I have never seen someone so on fire with the Holy Spirit and so full of energy because of it.  Second, I have also never seen someone have so much fun flinging Holy Water all over the church and the congregation.  I got pretty soaked, as did my now holy choir book and the grand piano, the young, old, Catholic, non-Catholic, pews, books, purses, and especially the floor.  Hospitality ministers came around with towels to make sure the floor wouldn't be slippery for people walking later for Communion.  Finally, watching the Liturgy of the Eucharist today was the most powerful thing I have seen in my entire life.  Seeing Fr. David filled with such emotion started me crying again.  Moments like that reaffirm the fact that what we believe as Catholics is true and powerful.  Mass concluded with Fr. David thanking everyone gathered in the church for helping him through his seminary experience and helping him feel welcome at St. Joe's, which made a lot of us cry (again).  After mass was finished, people flocked to meet with Fr. David, of course.  There was a semi-organized line sometimes wrapping around the font and sometimes extending into the aisles between the pews.  We ate.  We drank punch.  We celebrated the new life that had started for Fr. David Bruce Rosenberg.  I left feeling closer to God's call to me than ever.  I pray now that I, like Fr. David, can answer.

Author's note: Around the blog, there's a new name and a new aim!  From now on, the name of this blog is Cor Ad Cor Loquitur, which means "heart speaks to heart."  It was Fr. David's mantra while he was in the seminary, and it really spoke to me this weekend.  As the name suggests, the blog will now focus on matters of the heart - God, love, and life advice.  It will also detail the author's upcoming study abroad trip!  Thanks for reading, and please leave comments!!

Thanksgiving

Rejoice, Heavenly powers! Sing choirs of Angels! Exault all creation around God's throne. Jesus Christ, our king is risen! Sound the trumpet of salvation!

Easter. Jesus is risen. We praise God and join together in prayer and thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving.  What a word. Giving thanks for what?

Today I give thanks for everything in my life. I thank God that He finds me worthy to hear Him in my life, I thank my family for always supporting me and my friends for everything they do.  Today, I thank American University for providing me with an education and resources to help me achieve my dream.

But almost more than all of that, I thank the people who hurt me.  Starting with the mean girls in elementary school progressing to all the boys who broke my heart. What you've done has made me a stronger person, someone I never would have been had you not come into my life. I am more sure of myself and I can walk proud of that person. Some of you have even inspired my dream of never letting horrible things like assault or trafficking happen again.

So, while you are enjoying your chocolate bunnies, think about the people in your life you need to thank. And do it!

Religious Identity

"The Lord be with you"

"And also with you"

"Barauch Atah Adonai elohenu melech ha'olam"


It's interesting to see how similar we all are.  And how fascinated we are with each other.  It's caused me quite the inner struggle - how do I really identify?


For anyone who knew me back in Michigan, you'd think this was an obvious answer: I am a Catholic.  Tried and true.  Not to sound like I'm bragging, but I knew more than most people my age in my class.  I went to church 6 days out of 7 and was involved with everything.


Now I ask, what else did I know?


Religion is a fascinating course of study.  It's also a fascinating thing of life.  Ari never asked me to go to the synagogue with me; I asked him.  I was amazed.  There's nothing that I found in the English translations of the Hebrew that suggests a denial of anything I believe.  Where do I belong?


A song that was played at last Friday night's special "Shirei Shabbat" (Shabbat of Songs) says the answer to my predicament beautifully.  It is a song to Adonai (God) and says: "Oh guide my steps, and help me find my way.  I need Your shelter now, rock me in your arms and Guide my steps, and help me make this day a song of praise to You.  Rock me in your arms and guide my steps"


I pray every day that God will, in fact, guide my steps in the right direction.  Maybe I was meant to be both?  I feel spiritually fulfilled after both services.  What does that mean?!  I guess I'll just find out.


Happy All Saint's Day!

Baseball

GO NATS!  Friday night I went to a Nationals baseball game with my world politics class, professor, family, and of course Ari.  I had forgotten how much fun it is to watch baseball.  I used to go to Tigers games with my family when I was younger, but we haven't gone in years.  I called my dad as soon as I got there to ask if he was watching and if so could he see me.  Thank you, Michigan television, for not showing the Nats play the Braves that night.  Oh well.


Sitting in the nosebleed section above third base was a pretty good place to view all the action.  I watched the Nats score run after run while most of the crowd cheered.  I was even more into the game than Ari was!  It was pretty funny to come to that realization.  When there was a full count, I wouldn't let him talk to me.  I was fully focused.  I love baseball.  I can't say it enough.  Now I'm looking forward to CRHP next weekend back in good ol' Michigan.  I just hope everything goes superb as I'm sure it will!